As sanyone who knows me is well aware, I epitomize the definition of a baseball fan. I live and breath baseball. My wife is used to my yearly spring optimism – “This will be the Mariners’ year!”

So it is with dismay that, intermixed with the excitement of the baseball playoffs, I read about the divisive, rancorous and very public divorce proceedings currently brewing between Frank & Jamie McCourt. Frank McCourt owns the Los Angeles Dodgers, though to be fair this characterization is apparently a contentious issue. This proceeding has just started, and it’s already out of control. Accusations and cross-accusations. Mr. McCourt firing Ms. McCourt as the Dodgers CEO. Allegations of an affair. And their respective divorce attorneys do not appear to be shy about sharing with the media their clients’ respective positions and entitlements. The McCourts have four adult sons and have been married for 30 years.

I am not naive to recognize that very public – and extremely wealthy – individuals lead very different lives from you and me. And there can be many factors, circumstances and complexities that impact family law matters. At the same time, the McCourts are adult human beings capable of making choices and decisions on the path they take in bringing closure to this long term relationship. They can become aware of how their choices model to their sons how best to resolve conflict. One option is the collaborative divorce process, where spouses can choose to work together to create a mutually acceptable solution in the spirit of peace and dignity.

Foul ball or home run? You can decide!

There was a recent article in the New York Times Sunday Styles section entitled “Guilt Trip Casserole”. It focused on the stress associated with parents getting their teenagers together at the dinner table. Here’s an interesting revelation mentioned in the article from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse: Teenagers who eat with their families less than three times a week are more likely to turn to alcohol and drugs than those who dine with their families five times a week.

When I was growing up, my sisters and I always sat at the dinner table with my mom and dad. It was a culture, a tradition, fostered by my parents to create connection and  togetherness: Family Time. It would never have occurred to us kids to ask if we could watch T.V. while eating supper.

When you and your children are experiencing the stress associated with divorce or separation, here is a key tip: stay emotionally close to your children. Yes, today this is a hard thing to do. Kids today are used to “multitasking” – which can include, if you let them, talking, texting, instant messaging,  and eating dinner at the same time! A big part of what you can do to help your children at this time in their lives, is to let them know it’s OK for them  to share with you their fears, concerns and feelings. Make eye contact. Let them know you are there for them and care. Listen. No T.V. No cell phones. Just you and your children. Together.