“You know, my wife/husband/partner just want to get a little assistance here. Go over the divorce paperwork we’ve worked on. Maybe help us with some child support questions. We’d like to come in. Do you do this sort of thing?”

Many couples today want a simple, cooperative, non-confrontational way of getting legal help without taking out a second mortgage. Or, they don’t want to hire separate attorneys who may just sabotage all the hard work they’ve done in creating the framework of an agreement. “We know what we want. We’re not fighting. Let’s consult one attorney to provide us both legal advice and help with the paperwork.”

Ethically, one attorney cannot be hired  to provide legal advice and guidance to each partner in a separation or divorce. It is a conflict of interest. Yet, as things are being sorted out in a family law matter where important, often life changing choices are being made,  making an informed decision is important.  That usually means each individual getting separate, independent legal advice. That does not mean, however, that the default is retaining two attorneys who are simply going to go to their corners and come out fighting. Nor does getting independent legal advice and guidance from an attorney  mean engaging that attorney at great cost.

Many attorneys act as legal coaches for individuals who, though needing help, do not want the “full meal deal”. The attorney, in the role of legal coach, can work with their client to tailor their assistance to what the client needs. The other partner or spouse can also consult a legal coach. The end result is both individuals getting only the kind of legal help they truly require. It’s a sort of “ala carte” approach to legal assistance.

Occasionally, it is only one partner or spouse who decides they need legal help. Yet often both people would like to meet together to review documents the attorney has drafted, negotiate unresolved matters, etc. If I am assisting one individual as their legal coach, I have no problem meeting with my client and the other partner – together. In this context, I carefully define and  explain to the unrepresented person, in writing,  my role, while at the same time ensuring they understand their right to have independent legal advice.

If you are interested in finding attorneys who are supportive of individuals working things out cooperatively and may be able to serve in a legal coaching role, you can go to the King County Collaborative Law website: http://www.kingcountycollab.org. Click on “Find a Professional”. In the drop down list, click on “Professionals For Divorce And Family Law Cases”, then click on “Attorneys”. All of the lawyers listed here are fully supportive of spouses and partners reaching mutually cooperative agreements.  Many of them have a legal coach “niche” as part of their overall legal practice.

It is possible to navigate the family law waters safely and in a non-adversarial atmosphere. You just need to know where to turn!

When I was in law school, very little attention was given to teaching prospective lawyers  how to support the true interests of clients. In fact,  there was more focus on the law, cases, statutes, etc., than on how to listen to  clients and find out what they wanted and needed! Today things are very different. I teach courses to  law students at Seattle University Law School  on how to really listen to their clients and understand what they need. This is often referred to as “Client Centered Lawyering”. The focus is on  “Client Counseling” as opposed to “Blind Advocacy”.

There is a great movie called  “Flash of Genius”.  In this film  the actor Greg Kinnear plays Robert Kearns, the man who invented the intermittent windshield wiper, a device we all take for granted today. The movie  tells the true story of Mr. Kearns’ legal battle against the Ford Motor Company for respect and financial recognition for his invention. Alan Alda plays Mr. Kearns’ lawyer in this epic “David and Goliath” saga.  Early in the legal proceedings, and without any consultation with or input from Mr. Kearns, the Alan Alda character negotiates a possible settlement with Ford. The lawyer then invites Kearns and his wife to a celebratory dinner, complete with champagne! He assumes, of course, that Robert Kearns will readily agree to the settlement being considered. Well, he assumed wrong! I won’t spoil the outcome, but Mr. Kearns fires Alan Alda and very adequately represents himself through the conclusion of the law suit.

This is an excellent portrayal of how not to work with a client. There was no listening, dialogue or conversation around the kind of outcome Robert Kearns truly desired, which was as much about respect and an acknowledgment of wrong doing as about money.

“Flash of Genius” is out on DVD. Check it out!